Doodling - I've stopped it. It used to be my 'drowning man's straw'. I'd clutch at it in all those mind numbingly boring lectures when some fella was trying to 'facilitate' our understanding better.
Lately I have been struck by the mundane existence that is supposed to be life. Everyone I meet seems to be resigned to his fate, hardly trying to get a new perspective on it. Most relationships are convenience led. And I recently read in a book in which the author has analysed the Indian youth. Her insights just added more weight to my intuitive understanding of the relationships I see around me. Practical relationships are the norm. Love is out the window.
Everyone has a bunch of dreams filled in their vision, but no time or place for love. If someone comes along and fits right in with the rest of the scheme of things, great! If not, well, when the time is right (read as I am well settled) I'll find someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. Anyway, who knows about these things. Or does anyone even care.
I quiz myself on these thoughts. I have let people go find their way. And I am still not convinced. Maybe we just keep waiting for things to be perfect, knowing in our heads that that probably isn't ever going to happen, yet hoping in our hearts that one day, we'll say 'all's well'.
Maybe we need the sense of loss to truly value what we have lost. But I don't understand that either. Waiting until the carpet has been pulled from underneath you to miss the warmth. Can't we just be grateful for what we have, while we still have it? Don't we need to value the people who we are fortunate to be with? Can't we just try?
Bubble wrap: now, can it save me?
